April 14, 2014
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2014 New York Mets!

Look, nobody is penciling in October baseball in Queens this season. But don’t feel bad, Mets fans. While you might not be leading your division — like the 27x world champs are — your plucky squad has shown some pep of late.

So with a big home series coming up against the team’s premier division rival, you might think tickets would be in demand at Citi Field. You’d be wrong. See, while those bloodthirsty capitalists in the Bronx (and pretty much every other team) would charge extra for a “premium” opponent (such is the NL east that something like this is being used to describe Atlanta) coming in for a weekend set, the Mets are doing the exact opposite. Step right up and greet the Mets for less than $4! Here’s an email today from the team:

First of all, by the time you pay the fees, these tickets are actually more like $8 (a 229% increase!) but still cheaper than beer at the ballpark. They also have field level box seats for only $19.50. That’s a pretty good deal to see Freddy Freeman and not be in Atlanta.

More importantly, this deal is being billed as an anniversary celebration of Shea Stadium. Really? It would be one thing if Shea Stadium a) still existed and b) wasn’t universally terrible. But they tore the place down in 2008! How do you have an anniversary for what’s now a parking lot?

This really does encapsulate everything there is to know about the New York Mets. Not only are you going to the game for $3.50, but they’re also giving you an ugly T-shirt or a tote bag!

Bring your kiddies, bring your wife, indeed!

April 13, 2014
As always, the best writing in the New Yorker is the restaurant review

Say what you will about David Remnick’s commentary on the Olympics opening ceremony or his choice for president, but one thing is undeniable: his magazine produces some tremendous English sentences. That’s a lot to say about someone who employs Malcolm Gladwell.

Of course the finest writing in the New Yorker generally appears near the front in the brief restaurant review. This week’s entry is no exception. The key here is to be succinct with just the right amount of mean. If the reader is going to be shelling out human money to eat at this place, he should know whether there is going to be some degree of nonsense.

Here’s the best paragraph from Ariel Levy’s writing about a new addition to the far west side called Willow Road:

Willow Road is much more confusing. Upon entering, you might think you’re in Brooklyn, what with the displays of vintage ephemera—old Brillo boxes, a basket of out-of-date, sample-size soaps (Camay, a Best Western bar), black-and-white photos of cheerleading squads. But after you sit down you see that that’s impossible, because there is no kale on the menu, and, though there is a fancy little bowl on every table, it’s filled with humble Morton salt, not the pink Himalayan chunks or the shiny white flakes that would be offered in that borough to the east. The baseball-capped crowd, and the fact that there are giant televisions mounted on the wall on which diners can watch basketball games or the Oscars, suggest that perhaps you’ve somehow stumbled into Murray Hill—and the Guns N’ Roses and Duran Duran on the stereo further that impression. The prices, however, are clearly meatpacking district.

How great is that? Basically everything you need to know about the scene, presented in an appropriately dismissive tone. (Full review is here)

April 8, 2014
Counting all 71 shining moments

Connecticut won the basketball national championship, thanks in no part to the assistant coaching of one Glen Miller. But the game tonight on CBS was really just one big appetizer for the part of the NCAA tournament everyone looks forward to the most: One Shining Moment. (Also, it was a 3-hour promotion-fest for Two Broke Girls and A Tradition Unlike Any Other…)

Of course the schmaltzy montage isn’t about just one moment. This year’s rendition featured 71 distinct film clips, chronicled below by the schools represented. In total, there were 39 different teams shown during the 3-minute song. Interestingly tonight’s loser, Kentucky, is the 30th team to appear.

The list includes any reference to the team being in the tournament: players, coaches, parents, cheerleaders, bands and easily identifiable fans. For action shots, only the team in the highlight counts. So if you’re the guy on Texas who made the crazy last-second shot against Arizona State, congratulations; If you’re Herb Sendek, sorry, try not to lose to Rick Barnes.

Here are CBS’s Shining Moments from 2014:

A few teams have a beef here with Les Moonves and Sean McManus. Baylor, which won two games in the tournament, including one by 30, was omitted completely. Arizona, a No. 1 seed that advanced to the regional final, appears exactly once, which is the same number of times as Texas Southern, a team that lost in the play-in game and wasn’t actually in the tournament. Michigan State, despite being picked by the President of the United States to win the national championship, didn’t even get a player clip in OSM, just a defiant Tom Izzo. As for New York teams, both the University at Albany and Syracuse each made one appearance.

Did you remember that Kansas State was in the tournament? They were! That was the first team Kentucky beat. Fortunately for America, their cheerleaders also got a few seconds in OSM. Same goes for the Texas & UCLA cheerleaders, although sadly Florida’s squad was left out to make room for, of all things, the Stanford band. Nice one, CBS.

Also, can you name the one UConn parent shown? Upset, it wasn’t Shabazz Napier’s mother, who has become as much a fixture on CBS as Two and a Half Men. It was Ryan Boatright’s mom!

April 1, 2014
Here’s who made it on the Yankees season tickets this year

Here’s a hint: not the $30 million man.

The 27x world champs have chosen a very retro feel for their season tickets in the 2014 campaign. That’s probably for the best. Tickets for the failed season of a year ago featured current players, and did not feature admission to the postseason.

Adding players pictures to the tickets is actually a fairly new development. Back at the old Stadium, the tickets usually had some stupid slogan — who remembers “Pride. Power. Pinstripes.” from 2006 — or a logo, such as the 2009 new Stadium design. But since the 2009 championship season, the season ticket packets have featured all current players (2010, 2011 & 2013) or a mix of historic moments in franchise history (2012), some including current players, which is to say Derek Jeter.

The history here couldn’t be more obvious. The team doesn’t win the World Series when they put their current stars on the tickets. Lonn Trost clearly knows this. So the 2014 ticket packet features one and only one man who will wear the pinstripes on the field in a game that counts. No, not Brett Gardner.

Here’s the cover:

Could be an exception to the rule here: those arms holding up the trophy look very similar to Mark Teixeira’s. Perhaps he’s doomed the season.

And these are the actual tickets:

That has to be the face Joe Torre made every time he told Scott Proctor to “be ready for two innings tonight.” Meanwhile Andy Pettitte does a fine impression of Casey Stengel.

No messing around here.

Look, everyone likes Hideki Matsui. But this is a record that no one remembers or cares about. Can you name the other player(s) that share 6 RBI in a World Series game? Of course not. Besides, the biggest two plays that everyone remembers from the 2009 Series happened in Game 3: the home run off the TV camera and the double in the 9th that scored Johnny Damon. Both hits were by… well, you get the idea.

Ask your grandfather if his grandfather ever told him any stories about watching Jack Chesbro pitch. The guy died in 1931, so don’t be looking for any of his games on Yankees Classics.

Good thing they’re not playing the Dodgers this year. Awkward! To be on the safe side, better shelve Mattingly when printing up the World Series tickets… just in case. Also, they list Derek Jeter’s 200 career postseason hits as having taken place between 1996 and 2012. Nice to see the team being realistic about the postseason chances this year…

Remarkable careers all, but only one of these guys was nominated for a Latin Grammy. Fun fact: Babe Ruth’s 119 extra-base hits in 1921 was one of only three times ever for a player to have 100 or more for the Yankees. Only Alfonso Soriano in (92 in 2002) has even had 90 or more since 1937. Now you know.

March 23, 2014
The worst ads from the tournament’s first weekend

Some of the games in this year’s NCAA tournament have been so dreary that the timeouts occasionally have more action. Maybe the advertisers have secretly conspired with coaches to draw up game plans that call for deathly-boring basketball. None of these teams can score! Clearly that will sell more beer! After about a half of that dreadful Louisville-Saint Louis game on Saturday, the Stockholm Syndrome would have you begging to watch some automobile being offered for sale.

Unfortunately for the viewing public, the ads this year have been predictably terrible. (Also, America will have to endure at least one more Louisville game.) None have quite reached peak awfulness reached during last year’s tournament (remember “and that’s why I can never go back to Cleveland…”). But never fear; the geniuses at Anheuser-Busch are back again with two entries on this year’s list of the worst ads from the first week of the tournament.

BUD LIGHT
The ad: Up for whatever
The premise: The thoroughly unlikable Ian consumes a Bud Light and finds himself filming an awful YouTube video on stage with some terrible Coldplay-like band.
So: The guy at one point is in an elevator with a llama and somehow wasn’t horribly injured. That’s too bad.

BURGER KING
The ad: Chris Webber!!
The premise: C-Webb wants one of those burgers so much, he’s willing to let some short moron watch the end of the game from his shoulders.
So: Very prominent placement here for the Big Fish in the array of sandwich options, given that the Big King is the official burger of the Final Four:

There is no way Chris Webber is eating a Big Fish. You should follow his lead here. And just look at the shape of those chicken sandwiches. That’s not the shape chicken occurs naturally. Certainly no one needs two of these!

BUFFALO WILD WINGS
The ad: The game is on
The premise: There are three iterations of this concept: the tucked-in jersey, the spicy wings and the spunky small college.
So: Each ad features a Landry-esque figure, replete with fedora, imploring some drunks to continue watching the game, particularly with overtime looming. First you have “take that jersey-tucker!” with that mean “East” fan badgering the “State” fan for having is jersey tucked into his khakis. The first guy is not wrong here! In fact he should also be teasing the other guy with the jeans. Then there’s “If they make this, I’ll eat the blazin’ wings!” Great job fellas of making your product appear so unappealing this guy basically has to be dared to eat it. This is only marginally worse than “we’re the mighty osprey… soar, soar, soar, soar, soar!” *

BUD LIGHT
The ad: “Cool Twist” bottle
The premise: You’re going to be drinking shitty beer. Why not drink it from a resealable aluminum container?
So: Remember, the only differentiating factor among light beers is the vessel in which they are delivered. Just think of all the science that went into creating this bottle. About as much went into selecting that irritating pop track that harkens back to the come-on a few season ago for Internet Explorer. Again, the actual product is terrible. This is merely an ancillary detail.

SONIC
The ad: Swiss!
The premise: Dopey guy confuses “swish” with “Swiss”
So: Everything about this is awful. Fortunately the spot is in light rotation and these two are on a collision course with heart disease. Seriously, just the slushy drinks they have contain thousands of calories.

SOUTHWEST AIRLINES
The ad: Our planes do not have TVs
The premise: If you want to watch TV during the flight, JetBlue is what you’re looking for
So: Look, putting TVs on the plane costs money. We’re not spending an extra nickel on stuff you’re not paying us for. Use your own damn device, just don’t use it during those parts of the flight when we tell you to turn it off. Also, no, you can’t reserve seats. This is basically just a flying bus, and that’s how we make money. Ok? Now shut up.

ENTERPRISE
The ad: Huskers! Silver Swords!
The premise: Surely you haven’t forgotten from last year’s tournament that Enterprise hires more new college graduates than any other company, right? Well they still do!
So: Do we have spirit? Yes we do!! You know what else you have? A job that could be done just as well by high school graduates. Or high school dropouts, for that matter. Look, it’s not that hard to distribute cars to people for short periods of time. You give the car to a customer. The cars come back. You look to see if it’s damaged. Sometimes you will put in some gas. Most of the time you will wash it. Then someone else will come pick it up. Which one of these steps requires a college degree? Also, what a great way to remind the customer that they will be paying more for the car rental so they can subsidize the communications degrees of these people.

BUICK
The ad: The Regal’s terrible GPS
The premise: The navigation system in this new Buick car is insufficient to keep up with reckless and erratic drivers.
So: Don’t expect them to be selling a lot of these cars in Connecticut!

* Clearly there are some smart people making the decisions over at Buffalo Wild Wings. The placement of specially designed overtime spots in the first slot immediately when a game goes to OT is brilliant. The company did get lucky by having so many overtime contests so far, especially three in one night during the first round. But this was a very clever idea, executed with aplomb. These may end up being some of the highest-recall spots of the whole tournament.

March 20, 2014
2014 NCAA All-Name Team

You know who should be really peeved his team didn’t make the NCAA tournament? Steve Lavin. Sure, St. John’s lost at home in the first round of the NIT to future Penn coach Andy Toole’s Robert Morris squad. But just look at the bounty of riches the Redmen have when it comes to names: Sir’Dominic Pointer, God’sgift Achiuwa, Rysheed Jordan, and perhaps most appropriate, Max Hooper. Think long and hard about what you did, selection committee. A kid named God’sgift is going to graduate from St. John’s this spring never having had the honor of appearing on this list. Consider a dream crushed.

Meanwhile, back in the actual tournament, below are the 20 finest names to represent their school in the Big Dance beginning today. As always, prior honorees are not eligible to make the list this year. Apologies to some of the greats from the past, including Je’lon Hornbeak of Oklahoma, Rem Bakamus of Gonzaga and Hippolyte Tsafack of Memphis. And of course you have to actually make it into the bracket to qualify, so sorry to play-in game losers Gregory Graves from Mount St. Mary’s and Christian McCoggle of Texas Southern. Really a tough break also for Myles Davis of Xavier. At least the kid has three more years of eligibility.

These are all real names of real players in the NCAA tournament:

First Team
Scoochie Smith, Dayton
Wanaah Bail, UCLA
Indiana Faithful, Wofford
Hayward Register, Louisiana-Lafayette
Deverin Muff, Eastern Kentucky

Second Team
Cady Lalanne, Massachusetts
Ashton Pankey, Manhattan
Cazmon Hayes, Delaware
Merv Lindsay, New Mexico
Titus Rubles, Cincinnati

Third Team
Anson Winder, BYU
Herb Harrison, Eastern Kentucky
Vieux Kandle, Louisiana-Lafayette
Okey Ukah, Iowa
Yilret Yiljep, American

Honorable Mention
Josh Fortune, Providence
Langston Galloway, Saint Joseph’s
Robbie Lemons, Stanford
Enoch Hood, North Carolina Central
Sam Malone, Kentucky**

One thing that isn’t confusing at all is brothers Kyle and Kade Kager who play for American. Nice going, parents. Also, if you’re scoring at home, Delaware has a guy named Devon, another guy named Davon, and a third guy named Devonne.

All-Hyphen Team
Rondae Hollis-Jefferson, Arizona
Colton Ray-St Cyr, Coastal Carolina
Marvin King-Davis, Delaware
Jaylen Babb-Harrison, Eastern Kentucky
Dorian Finney-Smith, Florida
Steve Moundou-Missi, Harvard
Sherron Dorsey-Walker, Iowa State
Willie Cauley-Stein, Kentucky
K.C. Ross-Miller, New Mexico State
Jalil Abdul-Bassit, Oregon
Ben Brown-White, Stephen F. Austin

March 18, 2014
Here’s who the NCAA screwed (and more on the tournament)

Compared with last year’s debacle, the field for the 2014 NCAA tournament seems to make some sense. There’s probably one more team than necessary from the ACC, one too few from the Big East and deservedly six representatives from the A-10. Larry Brown’s team didn’t make it; probably shouldn’t have lost those six games in America’s Conference. But hey, the selection committee needed to make room in the field for N.C. State.

Based on the RPI, these are the worst teams included and best teams left out (shown with ESPN’s BPI rating at right):

Interestingly, Southern Mississippi was in almost exactly the same position last season: 35 RPI and a ticket to the NIT. If there’s any lesson from Virginia Tech, who used to be in the same circumstance every year, it’s don’t fire the coach! How has that worked out for Virginia Tech?

What did Phil Martelli say?
Does the selection committee have it out for the Hawks? St. Joseph’s won the Atlantic 10 title in a thrilling game against VC “don’t start no stuff, won’t be no stuff” U on Sunday. As a reward, the Hawks received a 10-seed, while the league’s top Rams earned a 5-seed. Now VCU’s RPI and ranking from ESPN make that 5 seem reasonable. But 10 for the gregarious Phil Martelli seems a little harsh, not to mention sticking them on a path straight to a Big 5 game in round 2 with Villanova. Real cute, guys.

Crazier still, UMass is a 6-seed from this league. No doubt they should be in the field, but four seeds ahead of a team that a) finished higher in the standings and b) won three more games in the conference tournament? Hard to explain that. Then again, these are the same folks who put the winner of the Big East tournament in at an 11-seed. (Providence won two of three meetings with Creighton and ended up eight full seeds below the Jays.)

Biggest beefs
Based on the RPI/seeding chart below, Texas seems to have gotten a pretty sweet deal. Everything always comes up roses for Rick Barnes. New Mexico, Kentucky, Gonzaga, BYU and Colorado were not so lucky. Their high seeds stick out from the pattern below. Looks like everyone on the committee goes to bed too early to watch those left-coast teams. Both rating systems strongly agree that Kentucky is better than an 8-seed. The same is true with less vigor for Gonzaga. ESPN’s rating system really likes Pitt and Iowa, likely due to schedule strength. Or it could be the network’s conference television agreement. Who’s to say.

Then there’s North Dakota State. These guys are the Bison, not to be confused with the Fighting Sioux of the U. of North Dakota. (At this point, how has neither team claimed the name Frackers? That would be awesome!) ND State, 25-6, which has the RPI rank one spot ahead of Texas, 35, has been assigned a 12-seed, while the Longhorns are a 7. And the NCAA thinks this is being generous! Actual headline on the NCAA’s official website: No. 12 seed is about respect for NDSU. Respect? That would be an 8 seed, exactly what you would get if you ranked the teams purely on RPI.

Certainly Duke is Duke…
As Pete Gillen will tell you, they’re on TV more than Leave it to Beaver… reruns. So it’s no surprise then that one of the most popular teams for television also happens to be one of the teams the NCAA takes the most care of with regard to travel. While fellow 3-seeds get to hop on plane to San Antonio — Iowa State will travel 1,005 miles and Creighton 919 miles — Mike Krzyzewski’s team will take a leisurely jaunt over to Raleigh, which is basically where they would have to go to get to the airport anyway.

Here’s a fun fact: 2014 will be the seventh time in the past nine tournaments to offer a first-round site in North Carolina that the Blue Devils will be starting there. (There were no N.C. venues last season or in 2010.) Only twice since Chris Duhon graduated (2004) has Duke had to actually go on the road. Just the way Vlad Putin likes it.

And would it kill the people running this tournament to actually put more games in the northeastern United States, where people actually live? Sure, MSG scored a coup this season by getting a regional site. Great. But there is no excuse for not having a first round site every year in one of the large, Big East cities.

The play-in games
Another thing that continues to be wrong with the tournament setup is the stupid play-in games. The problem isn’t that they exist, although 68 teams is really pushing the upper bounds on this event. What doesn’t make sense is putting automatic qualifying teams in these games. The NCAA does it every year to the would-be 16-seeds from small conferences.

Look, no one is saying Cal Poly (13-19), Mount St. Mary’s (16-16) or Albany (18-14) are great teams. But the fact is they were determined to be the champions of one of the 30 conferences not called the Ivy League that determines its best team by an arbitrary postseason tournament. Whatever. These teams should be in the tournament, full stop. They should get to experience the thrill of having stupid people pencil them in brackets, hearing their game called by Bill Raftery and not having to go to Dayton, Ohio.

The better application of the play-in games is to actually let marginal, bubble teams play their way in to the tournament. The NCAA sort of did this with the expansion to 68 teams, making actual 11- and 12-seeds face off. But they kept the system of matching up two 16-seed auto-qualifiers for two of these games, ensuring that at least two actual conference champions will not be in the real tournament. This is fairness to the NCAA.

Coming Thursday: the tournament all-name team!

March 18, 2014
Here’s the 2014 NCAA tournament field ranked by RPI (left to right). The blue verticals indicate 1-16 the team’s seed in the tournament. The red verticals are a scaled version of ESPN’s power rating system called BPI. In theory, this chart should form an even slope to the right. This year’s seeding is mostly accurate to RPI with a few exceptions. (Click the chart to enlarge)

Here’s the 2014 NCAA tournament field ranked by RPI (left to right). The blue verticals indicate 1-16 the team’s seed in the tournament. The red verticals are a scaled version of ESPN’s power rating system called BPI. In theory, this chart should form an even slope to the right. This year’s seeding is mostly accurate to RPI with a few exceptions. (Click the chart to enlarge)

March 4, 2014
MLB’s best fantasy teams

The Los Angeles Dodgers have the best fantasy baseball team in the league, bar none. According to ESPN’s fantasy player valuation, Don Mattingly’s roster includes 11 of the 300 best players in the game. Having Clayton Kershaw, No. 10 overall, Hanley Ramirez, 13, and Yasiel Puig, 28, certainly helps. So if you’re playing serious fantasy this season, chances are you’ll be staying up late to watch the west coast games. Added bonus, of course: Vin Scully.

ESPN’s list of the top 300 fantasy players includes a ranking carried over from the 2013 season along with estimated values for each player in an auction-format draft with 10 teams. They assume a 25-man team with a budget of $260. Both of these figure on using ESPN’s preferred scoring and configuration, but the valuation is general enough to be useful.

For the Dodgers, this system values Kershaw, the twice and future Cy Young winner, at $28, by far the most for any pitcher in the league. Not surprisingly Mike Trout of Anaheim is the No. 1 overall player, a bargain at $45, followed by Miguel Cabrera, $43, and Andrew McCutchen, $38.

The Rangers are second in total value. This makes perfect sense: they have Russell Wilson. On the big league club, non-Super Bowl winning division, Adrian Beltre is the most valuable fantasy piece at $27, 11th overall.

The table below shows the total value accreted by the top 300 players in ESPN’s rankings. The third column is an average of the 2013 rankings for just these players, and on the right is a count of how many top 300 fantasy players are associated with those teams.

Despite a real-world payroll exceeding $200 million, the 27x world champs do not crack the top 10 in terms of fantasy value. They are behind the Devil Rays. Only Jacoby Ellsbury’s $33 value keeps the Yankees from sliding to the dark regions inhabited by the Astros and Padres. (If you take away Ellsbury, the Yankees’ highest value player is $12 Carlos Beltran. Houston’s best player, per this, is $12 Jose Altuve, while San Diego boasts just $10 Everth Cabrera and $10 Will Venable, who went to Princeton. Good luck selling tickets to that.)

Here’s where the Yankees fantasy stars rank (value, 2013 ranking):

February 28, 2014
If you lost money on Bitcoin, sorry, but you’re a moron

Given what you know today about smoking, would you still do it? Of course not. It kills you. There’s a high probability you end up with some horrible lung cancer or no teeth, etc. All bad options. The warning signs are clearly out there. And yet, 16% of Americans still do smoke. There are, after all, morons in every crowd.

The same is true about the popular fake money Bitcoin. It’s been painfully obvious that Bitcoin and its ilk are just Ponzi schemes: you give them money, they give you something else approximating money, the value of which is controlled by some secretive market somewhere.

Today comes news that the largest “exchange” for Bitcoins, Mt. Gox, a website most likely run out of some guy’s basement, has lost millions of dollars “worth” of these things. (More of those words should probably be in quotes.)

According to the Times, Mt. Gox at one time was responsible for 4/5 of worldwide trading in Bitcoin. Today the head of the operation filed for bankruptcy in Japan after apparently having 750,000 of these “coins” stolen by hackers. At current rates, that amounts to $450 million in human currency. Good luck with all that.

In case you didn’t know, Bitcoins are made up. They are not based on anything in the physical world, and no government or regulatory agency vouches for their validity. One acquires these units by either “mining” them, which is nerd-speak for running some computer program to solve for some algorithm, or by exchanging real money for them. A year ago one was worth about $5, and that value shot up to over $1,000 toward the end of 2013 and has since slumped to $600. That is if you can find a sucker willing to buy these from you. Finally, it is important to point out early supporters of this scheme included Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, who you may remember had some degree of involvement in and very little proceeds from the founding of The Facebook. So yeah, this fake nerd money definitely sounds like a legitimate way to store your wealth! Next to that, dollars and euros are like conducting commerce with beaver pelts!

Earlier this week, a currency analyst at Citi, Steven Englander, told the Journal what most people already knew: this was a scam.

“This is the latest and biggest in a series of losses to Bitcoin holders that can be viewed as related to fraud or poor security. Moreover, the risk seems to have been known for years without the Bitcoin developers instituting a complete fix. So one question is whether the decentralized structure, which is the attraction to many, makes it too cumbersome to enact essential fixes.”

In other words, you’re going to get a little fraud, that’s just part of the deal. He went on:

“Bitcoin’s market cap on paper by far exceeds that of the competition, but the ability to translate Bitcoin wealth to wealth in other forms is very limited. There are many Bitcoin holders heavily invested in Bitcoin’s success and it has a first mover advantage. However as a store of value, its only value is reputational, and recent developments have shaken that reputation.”

So look, if you want to piss away your money, Bitcoin is totally the way you want to piss it away. But remember, you’re trusting some guy in basement to make sure all of this actually works.

Say what you will about JPMorgan, Citi or BofA, but one thing is for certain: if you put your money in an account there, you’re getting it back. Sure, Jamie Dimon was never an Olympic rower like the Winklevoss twins were, but he also wouldn’t have been dumb enough to give away the idea for Harvard Connection to some punk in a hoodie. And Dimon doesn’t lose his or your money in some fakakta scheme.

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